I have no importance here. I try to talk to everyone. But no one talks to me. When I join in conversation, I feel their disdain. I have nothing authoritative to say because I am not an expert on anything, they say. Look it up, they say, with a slight sneer contorting their lips.
When I explain that my education and experience and research gives my opinion authority, I am scoffed at.
When I talk I am ignored or am made to feel foolish or am misinterpreted
I sometimes feel loved but that changes moment by moment. I reach out to embrace. I have been told not to embrace. I embrace too much. No one reaches out to embrace me.
No one consults me and if I offer the wrong advice, words chastise me.
No one tells me where they are going nor if they are going.
I don’t feel welcome at the table.
I ask all the wrong questions. Words and looks say I sound stupid. I have been told that my questions are stupid.
Sometimes none of this is true. Sometimes I want to run away.
I am not needed. I am peripheral.
eyeamdust 
That is profound, because it is so true of everyone at some time or other. For other’s it may be true all the time. I am fortunate to feel love most of the time. I have many times felt the disdain when I think I gave the right answer or asked the right question. I Too, feel peripheral.
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This burns me with its intensity. It’s raw and real.
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