Enora and I were up late on Christmas Eve talking about astrology and philosophy. She was explaining my birth chart.

I began shaking internally, and I began to see but not really see with my eyes. But see with my spirit, the structure of my spiritual self and it looked like a human shape but at each extremity, including like the top of the head and the knees, elbows shoulders, I guess maybe at all the joints, there was a glowing globe like a point of light,  like the planets in the night sky or stars or something.

You know how scientists even say that we’re made up mostly of stardust, or of the same material as stardust; I felt this and like I said, it seemed like I could see this entity which was my spiritual being. Not really surrounding me, but all around me… inside of my consciousness.

Like I said, this is really hard to explain. It felt very protective and comforting. And as though it had always been there throughout my life, but I was just now able to “see” it or sense it’s presence. But in essence it was also me.

The intense shaking went on for probably 15 to 30 minutes. I didn’t count or pay that much attention to time, but it was really, really intense. I felt like I was vibrating inside and out. Eventually it slowed down some until I went to bed. That was about 1:30 when we stopped talking.

Nori knew exactly what I was talking about. You know how meditation instructors say that we don’t have to look hard or work hard to get to that place of peace and knowing because it’s right here, it’s right here with us . I’ve never really known where that was, but I understood through meditation that yes, I could access that place of peace and calmness, and I want to say knowledge, but I don’t think that’s exactly what I mean.

But during this experience, while I was up with Nori, I felt that I now know what it is. And that our spirit, that light source is right here with us all the time. And it is in this shape of a human form that is right here with us, around us, in us at all times. I’m going to try to draw what I “saw” or felt I saw. Like I said, it wasn’t really with my eyes. It was just a knowing. But it definitely was a being of light and each point of light corresponded with the planets in my chart.

I know this might sound crazy. And I know that I’m not doing a good job of explaining it, but maybe I can draw something that will make more sense. All I know is that now I feel that “it”, which also isn’t the right word, has been with me since I was born, even through all of my close calls with death, and in all of my joys, my ups and down in life.