This story of elder women, whose wisdom is sought by the young sounds really nice but is not relatable to many and I might speculate, to most.

I believe I speak for many when I say, no one listens to me. No one thinks I have elder wisdom. No one wants to hear my stories, nor do they want to tell me theirs. No one has that much time for me.

Often, I’m not believed when I tell my stories or even offer my opinion on serious subjects. My education is not respected.

There are smirks when I speak. And they argue with me over what I know I know or what I might have just read. My knowledge is dismissed. I’ve learned not to press, instead I walk away silent.

However, I like being my age. I like the experiences I’ve had. I like looking back, as I have much more time for memories now. In fact, I have much more time behind me than I have in front of me.

So, I like at least to write or to tell myself the stories of my life. I hope I have a lot more time to write and to remember. I’m not there yet, though I know I will pass away, to wish to die as I have heard the elderly say.

I’m not holding my breath for a time I might be needed. Times when what I’ve learned will be interesting to someone. Times when others choose to listen or to read what I think.

Times have changed and I wonder if wise ones, crones, the grandmothers and grandfathers have a place anymore. Though I know that in some cultures the elders still hold value.

In our culture, often the elders are put away or choose to live distant from family and friends, in retirement homes or if they need assistance, in nursing homes or they spend their days alone at home.

People are busy holding down one, two or more jobs just to get by. They query each other, “has anyone called grandma or grandpa today or aunt Phyllis or aunt Elaine?” “No” is most often the response, I’ll try to get there tomorrow or I’ll try to call this weekend.”

I know it’s not just me who holds little intellectual or spiritual value to anyone. It’s not for lack of love for I know I am loved and loved deeply. But I know many elder care workers. This story is far too common when the crones, the grandparents are dropped off to pass away, unwanted.

I am glad when I hear that there are those elders who are still respected and still hold value in their communities. I listen to the “wisdom speakers”. Some of them are old and some of them are quite young. Their wisdom gets me through life.

I listened, even as a child, to my grandmother and to my mother when they told me the stories of their childhoods and their lives as wives and mothers and their careers. I loved hearing about their joys, their heartbreaks, what it was like to live in a different era. I wish I could remember more of what they told me. Sometimes I wish they were still here today so that I could tap into their wisdom.

But this is not my story. The crone, the wise elder is not my experience. I’m finding it easier to be quiet more often.

………………………………………………….

Below is the original post that inspired my response.

One day you wake up, look in the mirror and see the crone, the hag, the elder, the wise one grinning back at you. She’s laughing; you thought she would never catch up to you, but she’s here! I tell you this is the place to celebrate, sing, dance, do ritual, howl, rage, laugh, keen to honor the old woman that is knocking at your door! Fling open that door now! We living in the times when your elder wisdom may be the very thing we need to carry on. The young folks starving for our wisdom and they might not even know it. Ancestors been walking through my dreams, knocking on my door, saying before you come to dance with us, call your wise women to lay down their down to the bone truths. This wisdom is needed now, folks are thirsty for the tongues of the grandmothers. Come on In – sit a spell, I ain’t going nowhere, I’m right here. Let me tell you a story and maybe you’ll share a few with me and the rest of the world that longs for the stories yet to be told.

• Reda Rackley
  BoneWoman Outsider Art
  http://www.bonewomanspeaks.com

Art by Jane Brideson
Wisdom of The Cailleach
http://www.theeverlivingones.blogspot.com